nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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