And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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