Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
