i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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