i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
