Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
