I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
