glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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