oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
