i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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