How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
