This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
