1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
