how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
