My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
