I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
