Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
