This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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