mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
