she was so not down for the gang bang
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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