you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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