I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
