i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
