hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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