You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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