Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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