All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
