Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
