i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
