Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
