My sheets look like a crime scene.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
