marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
