Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
