He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
