i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
