no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
