well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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