i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
