Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
