Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
