weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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