dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
