Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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