I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
