sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
