her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
