nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
