just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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