i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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