Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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