420 ftw
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
