why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
be right there i have to get my cape
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
