Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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