I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
