Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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