dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I forgot how hot balto sounded
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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