yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
