we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
