And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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