I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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