I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize