I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
