I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
