Moan for me like Helen Keller
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize