Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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