your room smells of hookers.
And success
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
