Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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